Old Vehicle in a Barn

Random Excerpts from my 2011 Journal

Khareen — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 14:10:49 +0000

Some kind of a year-end report, so to speak.

Unfortunately, writing has made a fugitive out of itself, and is far long gone for almost a year now. (Feb 12, 2011)
I’m starting to think that Digos was made for leaving. Everyone just passed me by. (Feb 24, 2011)
Sometimes I have this urge to pull off a Jay Gatsby and just go away to find myself. (Mar 01, 2011)
In two year’s time I should be changing careers. I don’t want to stay like this in the long run. It’s true, I want to go back to school, but I don’t know how far my academic caprice could ever take me. But I’m still not letting go. (Mar 12, 2011).
For me, the phrase end of the world is not at all “collective” in a sense. But we die alone. The world still lives on. It is our concept of “the world” that dies with us. (Mar 19, 2011)
I hate the excitement of knowing that an unshaped poem is waiting to be done at this instant, only to be pacified by the thought that I still have to work. Why does poetry catch you off-guard – in between piles of work, while at the party, while you’re determined to finish a serious task? (Mar 22, 2011)
Other people are careless enough not to leave the privacy of faith that is for other people. (April 23, 2011)
At some point I felt tinges of pain under my right breast. It’s crazy. I’ve been doing self-breast examination but it’s utterly pointless as I don’t really know how it works. I’m so paranoid. (May 10, 2011)
I have broken the sanctity of my entire trip, which was originally planned to be a “Thoreauvian escape” by constantly checking my online accounts. (May 23, 2011)
Waking up an hour early, there is a freshness in this that I could not put into words, articulately. I spent this early morning lounging around my mini library, tracing my fingers in several spines of my books as if each touch voices hellos and goodmornings. (July 14, 2011)
It’s good to be back in school, to be honest. (Aug 24, 2011)
Monday morning, curling up in rattan chair with my left leg propped up on the side and a cup of coffee in my right hand. I closed my eyes as Bob Dylan’s voice filled my ears. It’s all over now, baby blue. (Nov 14, 2011)
My advance English grammar class will kick me out of grad school! (Dec 08, 2011)
Rarely do I feel so sure about my feelings, but this isn’t one of those times. Why is he doing this to me? Honestly, my love life is fraught with ‘what shouldn’t be’. Does this make it even romantically more exciting as a pursuit? (Dec 28, 2011)
Last day of the year. He called me over the phone. I tucked his voice into the palm of my hands — a sharp, hurtful thing I just can’t let go. (Dec 31, 2011)

Mythmaking Today?

Khareen — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 05:02:22 +0000

Mythology has always incited to its readers a sense of wonder and freedom to explore their own imagination. Myths are widely interpreted as reflections of the ideas and beliefs of a particular culture. Interesting details about such “indigenous lore” have fueled folklorists, anthropologists and researchers to continuously collect, classify and analyze these materials. If we were to consider that myths and other folklore materials are included in the rich oral tradition predating the colonization period, then we might as well safely assumed that the subject concerned are likely to be historical beliefs, cultural descriptions and lifestyles of the early settlers. In this modern period and time, how do we approach the role of mythmaking?

In the Philippine context, various commentaries regarding the folklore tradition has relegated myths and legends as something both entertaining and ridiculous. Now the word “myth” in modern context is usually understood as if it’s synonymous with words like “fictitious”, “lie” or “fabricated”. But if we go back to its original and definitive description, we will discover that myths are expressions of fundamental feelings and beliefs that are common to a group of people. The myth is an outlet of creative expression; for those who are intimate to its true purpose and value, the myth is both a delight and the ultimate answer to phenomenon in which some people cannot otherwise understand. Thus, the myth offers a certain kind of relief.

Banking on such powerful and persistent quality of myth to supply information to human’s thirst for a more rational explanation, many media practitioners have borrowed this technique to circulate stories, assumptions and beliefs in various media like TV, radio, magazines, newspapers and the like. This has come to be known as mythmaking in the media. There are slight outgrowths from the same concept, in which they are referred to as “urban legends”, “urban myths” and “contemporary legends” by some other people. Because of technology, the circulation and the transmission of stories are way easier. The internet, for instance, is the most widely used medium for modern mythmaking.

You can’t deny that there are more or less similarities between the myth (in relation to oral tradition) and the urban myth in the modern generation. They both have to be told for they have become a significant part of human speech and communication. The stories involved may not be logical, and are likely devoid of empirical explanations, but in the end we tend to highlight divinized heroes and empathize with fallen gods, whether in modern context or not.

Linguistic Competence and Literary Competence

Khareen — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 05:00:30 +0000

If we were to consider that literature can only be appreciated only if one understood it, then linguistic competence becomes a prerequisite for literary competence. The student’s ability to infer is greatly influenced by his or her proficiency in the language. Language is the premier medium in literature and if one lacked the proficiency in the former, then the latter might appear almost inaccessible to the reader.

There are many reasons as to why linguistic competence becomes significant in gaining literary competence. The most obvious one is the fact that language is a medium of understanding. Some works of literature require a certain level of proficiency that limits only a number of audiences. If you have successfully gone passed the cut-off, then there’s a great chance for understanding and appreciation for a piece of a literary work. As anyone would notice while reading, there may be ambiguities in most literary works as far as the use of language is concerned. But there’s a certain level of understanding, a foundation that’s comprehensive and which readers can initially latch upon, that can surprisingly transform such surrounding ambiguities into something mysterious and satisfying.

The same is true when it comes to student-writers. On a literal level, your ability to write with a clear intent will shape up the understanding of your readers. If you are proficient in the language chosen, then there’s a great possibility that you can transform your writing style into something enchanting, delicate and sublime. For creative writing practitioners, your talent in handling language correctly can give you the chance to produce a literary work that can inter-animate with the readers. Such dynamic and personal relationship between the reader and the text is the key success of some of the popular literary works that we look up today.

The second reason is more focused on the ability of the reader to understand that language is a translation of one’s own interpretation of the world. Both readers and writers should know that there are different flavors in language, both written and spoken. There’s a major difference between the words “soft” and “tender” as far as parole is concerned although these two words are synonymous to each other. When either word is used in a literary work that heavily depends on form, then you know for sure which one is more appropriate in terms of rhyme, rhythm or style. Even a simple decision of choosing a word from the other can be crucial this way. It’s important to understand that ideas and experience are worked in language and ultimately through it.

The same is true when it comes to literary translations. Proficiency in language – both in source and target language – is necessary to limit the loss of meaning that’s inevitable in the translation process. Eskimos are said to have more or less, a hundred translations for the word “snow”, which means that relatively, there’s a hundred ways of seeing the subject in every sense of the word. Thus, language becomes reflective to our world; we see objects in a different light and perspective. In literature, this becomes very significant, to bring something very particular (world) into the universal (World).

The third reason is more technical – language becomes a primary distinction of the “literariness” of a text. The Russian Formalists and American New Critics have already emphasized the importance of form as a content. Since the writer’s descriptions of motifs, devices, rhythm, etc. are interspersed with the use of language then it’s clear that language makes it possible to distinguish a literary work from an ordinary reading material, such as newspaper or a magazine. A typical weather report in a newspaper may say that the current humidity condition is “77% and good” but a writer like Jack Kerouac would say otherwise, “Warm, palmy air — air you can kiss — and palms” or “It was fragrant and soft — the softest air I’d ever known — and dark, and mysterious, and buzzing”.

If you have a high proficiency in the use of language, you can ensure correct grammar but you can also present objects in a very unusual perspective (“defamiliarization”) which is what most literary classics are essentially reputable for. On the reader’s part, the experience of delight is more likely if he or she appreciate such transcendent quality of a sublime language. But this is only possible if the minimum required proficiency is present, as not all literary works are accessible to all ages.

And lastly, we should also take into account the word “competence”. In this context, literary critics have the most influence in recognizing whether a certain piece of literary work is up for what they call “the standards of taste”. The focus is not just on the subject of the literary material — most often than not, it is how the subject (or the experience) is being presented through the use language that really matters. Thus language becomes an obvious tool of assessment for literary critics.

That being said, the criticism of a literary work has become a product of a thorough analysis of the language and the writing craft and how the readers respond to the “truths” being relayed by the text. It is for this reason too that some writers are widely distinguished for their own technique in language — how these writers make fresh the literary experience. The rapturous style of Vladimir Nabokov, the stream of consciousness technique of James Joyce, the maximalist style of William Faulkner, the energetic and the spontaneous beat prose of Jack Kerouac, the sparse and halting prose style technique of Ernest Hemingway — to cite a few examples. Such distinctions have already been laid out by the literary critics; most of them stringently advocated that the qualities of language can be scientifically and objectively studied.

Readers, writers and literary critics have their own reasons as to how important would a linguistic competency be in achieving literary competency. Readers relate best to the literary works that they can understand. A writer’s psyche can be plumbed through his use of language, and a certain level of proficiency in it is necessary to come up with a worthy literary work. Literary critics examine what makes a certain literary “work” – and language is a significant aspect to study. Although other critics would argue that the whole idea of “competence” is likely skewed in a particular direction that satisfies the definer’s belief, conventions will tell us that linguistic competence and literary competence are interrelated to each other.

Thoughts on Revision

Khareen — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 14:11:48 +0000

The first drafts I wrote were really terrible, pretty rough works that reeked of grammatical errors and loose ends that needed cleaning up, some gaping holes left unexplored, and a couple of flat characters. The very act of writing the stories was less daunting than revising them; confronting the stories for revision carries a much conscious responsibility – in steering the plot or fine-tuning the characters to create a certain kind of depth. Yet amidst all these editing woes, revising the stories can be as pleasurable as writing them. The American short story writer and novelist Bernard Malamud once said in his lecture delivered in Bennington College entitled Reflections of a Writer that “Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing.” True enough, sometimes it gets me excited when I come across symbols and metaphors, and I’d tell myself, “Hmmm, I didn’t notice this before,” and then it makes me enthusiastic to develop a certain angle from which the readers can latch upon based on that guiding light, that consciousness.

To fine-tune a certain character is also an exciting activity – I get to know a lot more of this character as if he/she were a former friend, slowly revealed to me in full recognition through revision.

Sometimes my characters had their own ways of escaping the capricious plans I laid out for them, and so they set out a new story for me. This is a good thing that can happen to a writer, surprisingly so, when I realized that a story can engender another story.

A Car Noob’s Ideal Car

Khareen — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 09:16:13 +0000

I don’t own a car nor do I know how to ride one but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have my own notions for an ideal car. I don’t know if the point of view of someone like me (someone clueless about cars, or should I say, “car noob”) would really matter. But if you’re curious, then read on.

I spent the entire college years commuting via jeepneys and buses and so you must understand if I say I wouldn’t find a car with a stiff, snappy and choppy ride really interesting. I had enough of those rough rides that are evident in public vehicles. Also, spare me with the road noise too.

I don’t mind a car that lacks refinement on the inside, as long as the interiors are roomy and comfortable. As a significant portion of the final price quote is due to the interior features, I wouldn’t mind too many aesthetic accents just to save money. Here’s a big no-no: low roof and small windows that compromise visibility (the best way to point out that I’m claustrophobic), tight rear seat (I prefer modest space, please) and cramped driving position. And of course, I prefer excellent media player on my dashboard.

My dream car doesn’t have to be luxurious on the outset, with a downright expensive price tag – it only have to be nimble, with impressive fit and finish. Even though I don’t know much about performance features, at the least I would be glad to own a car with a responsive steering and secure handling. Predicted reliability should be pronounced as I prefer not to be hammered with those harrowing, trouble-prone ones. And finally, crash test results must be excellent; I don’t really picture myself dying in the middle of the road or getting myself stuck in a ditch for that matter.

Leaving Kanchanaburi

Khareen — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 11:32:46 +0000

Kanchanaburi, province bearing a lovely name
I have not forgotten you, not that easily
I have your map tucked inside my mind
for I have imagined you waiting
for me countless times.

You remember me leaving, boarding that train
the third-class clickety-clack train
snaking its way out from the depths
of your fragile province.

Raindrops helplessly clinging on the train window
Lotuses frantically moving upon the rain's
coming, and as the train pulls into
a halt, station after station,
ominous sounds of wheels
brushing past the
railway

called me back in a strange language
and I had no voice on my own
no hasty, curt reply
to say goodbye.

Kanchanaburi, I watched you with love
as I left you in the gray hours
to meet Bangkok's setting sun
yellow and attenuated.

Short Book Review: I Me Mine by George Harrison

Khareen — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 07:43:34 +0000

Book Cover of "I Me Mine"

To an inveterate George Harrison fan, this book is precious.

The “autobiography” part does not tell much about the highlights of George Harrison’s life (why there’s not much exploration on his relationships with Pattie Boyd, Eric Clapton, Dhani Harrison, Olivia Harrison and even the rest of the Beatles!) but there are interesting brief accounts on band tours and Harrison’s quest on spiritual enlightenment.

The bulk of the book is primarily due to the inclusion of George Harrison’s handwritten song lyrics and photos. Gotta love the rough drafts of lyric sheets filled with notes and illustrations!

Favorite Writers

Khareen — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 07:31:43 +0000

I am not a voracious reader, I am picky when it comes to books. Usually I read books if they are highly recommended but I don’t go around reading all kinds of books anytime of the day. When I was in grade school I was encouraged to read books, but when I got hooked into reading (being able to use my school library card and all) my parents would be worried of what I’ve been reading. Even though they didn’t bluntly say “Don’t read that kind of book!” young as I was, I knew back then that there was more in those “You know, you should read the encyclopedia rather than these books” (by these I mean, romance novels and pocketbooks), or my sisters would say, “You should read the classics.” My father would leaf through the pages of the books I borrowed from the library, as if trying to dissect what’s the story’s all about just by flipping the pages. Then he would say, “Tell me about that book after you read it.”

If writers assert that writing often improves with age, I think so does reading. I didn’t appreciate some books I read in the past the way I appreciated them now. Take for instance, that complex novel by Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights. It seems that some books have to “ripen” enough for you, though the fact is that you yourself have to be ready to confront the human truths these books carry in them. I tried reading that Bronte novel in high school, but I never managed to finish it. It was once a horribly boring book with Lockwood narrating about someone else’s story, talking about the terrible weather and his experience when he was being attacked by dogs. It was only in college that I fully appreciated what the novel was all about.

Perhaps in the coming years, I might be able to appreciate James Joyce too, because I don’t feel like I’m not yet ready to read him every time I get a hold of his book.

My favorite books taught me the habit of reading. Now, the reading habit still endures, and more probably so in later years. Of course I have my favorite writers to look up to. Lorrie Moore writes character-driven stories and she can handle so deftly the tone, the characterization, and the attitude that makes all her characters real on page. It’s as if I’ve opened myself into a kind of trance to receive them, as if I’ve known them for a certain period of time, and how I sympathize with these people! Reading Lorrie Moore’s stories help me how to use subtext in dialogue too. In one of her stories entitled What You Want to Do Fine, which is my favorite, she captures the eccentricity of a lover, who is a geek, and the disjunction of conversation that reveals the tension of the story. On the other hand, Adam Haslett’s harrowing stories make me weak, and probably that’s what I like about his stories – they show me the vulnerability of the characters, so natural and poignant, and humanizing them in the least. For high style language and for the rhythm in the prose, I look up to two of the great Russian writers, Leo Tolstoy and Vladimir Nabokov. There is sweetness in their language I feel like eating their words myself.

The poison of the stories and novels of all my favorite writers inspired me to help my stories achieve their own identities without me blending into the picture. It’s so amazing how a single work of literature can live on its own, building things of lasting value, a soul framed to throb on a page, a separate identity.

From Davao to Bangkok: Day 02

Khareen — Tue, 24 May 2011 04:39:23 +0000

I have broken the sanctity of my entire trip, which was originally planned to be a “Thoreauvian escape”, by constantly checking my online accounts. I had just traveled an appromixately 2,300 miles from Davao City to Bangkok, with an intermediate noon flight stop in Manila in between.

The intention was to ultimately free myself from the stress of work but the internet has become so indispensable that by the time I arrived in my destination all I ever had in my mind was to come in contact with my boss and still continue working on some of the tasks.

So in the next few days I would have to oscillate between having fun touring around the place and working under pressure at the same time.

For as long as in the end I’d get to cross the River Kwai, I wouldn’t have to make such a great deal out of this. Two years ago, I have read Pierre Boulle’s novel The Bridge Over the River Kwai and subsequently watched its 1957 film adaptation (“The Bridge On The River Kwai”) directed by the infamous David Lean, and felt that the grandeur of the story, as shown both in the novel and film, was both overwhelming and transcendent.

From then on, I promised myself that the only thing left to do is to visit that historical railway.

There are times when suddenly you realize you’re nearer the end than the beginning. And you wonder, you ask yourself, what the sum total of your life represents.

- The Bridge on The River Kwai (1957)

Living in the Material World: George Harrison

Khareen — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 12:09:47 +0000

George Harrison. rock guitarist, singer-songwriter and the lead guitarist of The Beatles

I just found out that Martin Scorsese, my most favorite film director, is set to release his 2011 documentary entitled “Living in the Material World: George Harrison”, a film account that tackles the life of George Harrison.

Harrison

As you may know, George Harrison is a rock guitarist and one of the well-acclaimed singer-songwriters the music industry ever had. But George Harrison is reputably more popular as the leading guitarist of the English rock band, The Beatles. He is known as “the quiet Beatle.” Some of the popular Beatles songs that he composed included Within You Without You, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, I Me Mine, Blue Jay Way, Something, and my personal favorite (and the ultimate cheer-up song) Here Comes the Sun. His songs are heavily imbued with mysticism (as influenced by Hindu practices).

Scorsese

Martin Scorsese, on the other hand, is a celebrated film director, actor, producer, screen writer and film historian. Scorsese is infamous for his dark-themed films like “Taxi Driver”, “Goodfellas”, “Raging Bull”, “The Departed” and many more. He’s also well recognized for his documentaries which include “No Direction Home” that recounted the life of the American singer-songwriter Bob Dylan. Actually, he’s my most favorite film director – I’m on a Scorsese binge right now, trying to watch all his films.

As I am a fan of both Scorsese and The Beatles, this upcoming film documentary is something to look forward to this year. I heard it’s slated to be released in the illustrious Cannes Film Festival. Fast forward to May please!

The title of the documentary is obviously taken from George Harrison’s solo album entitled “Living in the Material World” released in 1973.

Here's George Harrison winking at you

From left: Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Star and John Lennon