Curlicues: Thoughts About Adolescence

THE ROAD TO Barangay Kiagot Hills is not easy – it is exhausting, painstaking and a one of a kind uphill ride. The roads are not yet cemented, you’re walking – teetering – literally on the edge of a cliff and it’s hard to even get by aboard the motorcycle. A number of people have been killed by accidents, others, especially women, were molested and raped due to the fact that the place is dangerous at the onslaught of night – no lights along the way, and the place is shadowed by haunting trees and grasses. The place has only a few stores that provide only the barest basic necessities. If you don’t know Continue reading

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So What’s High School (Part 1)

Identity Crisis and Insecurities

When I was still in high school, you could just imagine how excruciating it is for me to stare in front of the mirror and look at my face.I have lots of insecurities, especially in high school: no long legs to boot, no slender body to flaunt, uneven skin tone and pimple marks.These are mainly the reasons why I usually walk slouching my shoulders because I’m not confident when passing by corridors.I would feel uncomfortable meeting new people,especially if I notice that their eyes are to travel from my head to foot.Or at least, maybe I’m just overly emotional and self-conscious – after all that is what high school is about: mood swings, unstable feelings, sudden insecurities and first loves.

I studied in the city’s public high school.I’m the youngest in the family and my older brother and my two sisters also went in the same public high.The good thing about public high school is that there is a wide array of people going in and out in your teenage life: you get to meet them and mingle with their different personalities (but mind you, there are much more ‘difference’ in terms of people personalities in college than in high school).I was not the kind of girl that easily gets in the group – I felt comfortable at the backdrop watching other people having fun, meeting up, talking and falling in love.Through out high school, it’s always like that.I was not a notable member in any of the academic clubs in high school – I only ventured out to be a writer for the school’s publication in the later years when I was able to pluck up the courage to contribute my petty writings.Nevertheless, I also joined CAT organization in my fourth year, and I could say that it really helped me in building the leadership that I never thought I had.

Well, it’s true that in high school you may feel like you are a liminal – like you don’t belong either the groups.You felt like it’s something like that.You felt you’re squeezed.You easily broke down when you see your crush talking animatedly with another girl, and get occasional monthly mood swings that you couldn’t pin down why.You also felt frustrations when dealing with the volcanic zits popping in and out in your face – like they were tiny zits of hidden anger you could not express.Things like this are so like high school, and this is usually and generally true among people out there.

Identity crisis usually happens in the later years of gradeschool, extending into hurly-burly life of high school.Initial and instant bouts of ‘young jealousies’ happens here.Insecurities are likely. For my part, it would be the pimples.Gosh, how I hate pimples.As I was not used to it before, I felt helpless and I felt embarrassed what to do with them.Now I felt lucky for the younger generations because pimple treatments are all over the place – books, self-help magazines and internet.

Now, I’m over with those high school stuff. I think so. Laughs. There are lots of things interesting and quite different in college: prospect jobs, serious relationships, beer bottles, or even all night parties.